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[alt_nymphadora]

Sorry to the blokes: I'd make this a private message, only I want to address it to more than two.

Alice, Molly, Madam P?

I've just been reading up on toilet training, and...

Surely we're not really meant to use compulsions on Bea to get her to see what she's meant to do? I thought it was just nonsense when I read those pamphlets, but I picked up two books on my way from work this morning, and that's all they recommend, either.

What on earth?

Comments

[alt_alice]

Gracious, no.

If she's old enough to understand what she needs to do to avoid a wet nappy, and old enough to be able to tell someone when she's ready to visit the loo, then she'll be fine. She may go at it at her own pace rather than yours, which means there may be two steps forward and one back, and some positive reinforcement in the form of an extra hug and a kiss when everything goes according to plan wouldn't hurt matters at all.

Honestly. Compulsions? On toddlers? I can't imagine.

[alt_molly]

How utterly absurd!

Don't pay attention to such claptrap, dear. The whole point of toilet learning is to teach a child to recognise and heed her own body's signals. She certainly can't do that if her will is being constantly overborne by parents who are too impatient to clean up messes.

Frankly, I think compulsion spells will just make the whole process take longer! Not to mention that it just set up future battles.

You may have to clean up more accidents if you pitch the books, but she'll learn much better and you'll all be happier.

[alt_nymphadora]

Oh, Molly. Can you recommend anything we can do or what we should read?

The trouble is none of us have any idea about this sort of thing.

[alt_molly]

I know that it seems overwhelming, but children do manage to learn this (although some don't manage to stay dry at night for awhile. If that's the case, don't be discouraged). The trick, I've found, is to praise and reward her more for her successes than call attention to her failures, or worse, scold her. If she has an accident, be as matter of fact as you can, and just say, 'I know you'll manage next time.' Some simply are a bit more organised at a young age than others, or perhaps more fastidious--Percy was one of those. But all children get there eventually.

You might try something like a reward chart, that's charmed to display a star when she has a success. Simple, I know, but sometimes the simplest things can be surprisingly successful.

You're an excellent mum, dear, and I know you'll get through this.

[alt_nymphadora]

Well, she's old enough to tell us when she needs changing, but I don't know whether she would grasp the other side of things--preventing the situation, I mean. What age should we expect? The pamphlets and the books all say the earlier the better, and suggest we could have begun any time after her first birthday. But she's twenty months now!

We wouldn't even be thinking of it if they didn't keep sending us those things. A Sodden Leap Forward. Nappies No More. Ex-Changing: Putting Pooey Pants in the Past. Waste Not: The Practical Efficiencies of Toilet Training. I'm not making this up, I promise.

And they all make it seem we've failed her by waiting so long to begin.

[alt_alice]

We normally start encouraging training around twenty-four months, but it varies from child to child. The boys always take just a bit longer to get the hang of things, and some children are eager to start early.

We don't have a book here, but you can certainly talk to Jacinda about her experiences when you come to train this weekend, as she's seen her share by now.

[alt_poppy]

I'm afraid my own experience of that is very far in the past, and, generally speaking, Hogwarts students do not require this sort of training.

Mind you, there are potions that can help if she really has difficulty discerning when she needs to urinate or if she develops a problem with bedwetting. (I keep a supply of Eupatoria Pliny's Dry Dreams on hand here because I do have frequent need of it, especially at start of term with the first-years.)

The one other tip I could offer is to use a quick colouration charm to turn the water a vivid blue, so Bea may enjoy turning the colour green when she adds her own yellow-coloured fluid to the blue. My Rue found that a most engaging game when it was time for her toilet training to begin.

[alt_sirius]

I keep telling you she'll be fine, when she's ready for it. I think it's too early to worry too much yet.